How to handle a 12 year old daughter

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how to handle a 12 year old daughter

My 12 year old daughter would like to read... — The Help Q&A

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Published 19.03.2019

Positive Discipline - Parent Talk

Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter.


Did your kid say something awesome? Stream posts on reddit. Click that to enter chatroom. Like the title says. I have a daughter who turned 12 a few months ago and almost every single day is a struggle. Every time she talks to me it's dripping with assholery, sarcasm, smart assedness, or flat out rudeness.

And, the behaviors that require discipline are likely to shift too when children turn Tweens are struggling with a variety of issues, ranging from hormonal changes and physical growth to social pressure and increased academic work. While some tweens really begin to shine academically, others may grow painfully aware that they struggle more with school than their peers. The tween years are when most children begin to think more about how others perceive them. They worry about what their friends think of them.

I guess we forget that after that first word, a lot of other words will follow…. Listen to and actually hear what your teen is saying When your child feels he is being heard and valued, this can go a very, very long way. It is too easy as a parent to always be correcting and questioning your child, as well as always telling him what to do, and as a result a child can feel that he is not being heard and valued. When your child feels that you are hearing him, he may be more likely and willing to hear you. Find the times that he is being respectful, and praise him. Set positive consequences for good behavior: for example, keep track of each time he talks respectfully, and tell him that after a certain number of times in a day he will get to watch television or play video games. Explain that these are privileges that you are willing to give to only in return for a certain level of maturity and respectful behavior.

Your Answer

Today's precocious preteens often shock parents when they begin to act like teenagers. The biggest danger for tweens is losing the connection to parents while struggling to find their place and connect in their peer world. The biggest danger for parents is trying to parent through power instead of through relationship, thus eroding their bond and losing their influence on their child as she moves into the teen years. Your game plan for the tween years, when your son or daughter isn't quite a teen yet -- but is definitely on the way out of childhood. Many kids get their first cell phone as they hit the preteen years, because they start to spend more time away from home. That first cell phone needs to come with written rules and responsibilities in the form of a signed contract, so your child learns how to handle it responsibly. Over the years, my teens have developed these rules for themselves.


  1. Tergdiscnumherd1968 says:

    Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids

  2. Omar D. says:

    Bringing up daughters is complicated: Empowerment messages and impressive achievements are everywhere, yet depression and anxiety are very real threats.

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