101 uses for a dead cat pencil sharpener
101 Uses for a Dead Cat by Simon BondMaslow, Fanci, and Ashley wandered over to the thin red book lying on the floor.
Maslow, the smartest of the three cats, tried to read the title, D-E-A-D C-A-T
Ashley pricked up her ears CATS! Its about cats.
Fanci turned a few pages, Its about dead cats, I think.
Maslow sneered, Who would want a dead cat? Were a lot cuddlier when were alive.
Fanci sneered back, Youre a lot fatter when youre alive.
Hey, Im not fat. Im fluffy!
AshLey kept looking at the pictures, It seems we cats are a lot more useful dead than alive.
Fanci laughed, Keep at it, Ash. At 17 years old, youll soon be finding out.
Im a indoor cat.
Youre an outdoor cat.
And your point?
Its a well known fact that indoor cats live much longer. While Im eating salmon, youll be a golf club.
Fanci snarled, And I hear your mamas a rug in a cathouse!
Before the fur started flying, Maslow interrupted, Wait guys. What if this book is for real? Someday we could be life preservers or worse. What happens to us after were gone?
They all turned to me.
I smiled, Dont worry, kitties. You will have a long life and be well loved.
Fanci asked, But what will you do when were gone?
Ill get a puppy
Two days later, they crawled out from under the bed.
101 Uses For A Dead Cat
The lowest-priced brand-new, unused, unopened, undamaged item in its original packaging where packaging is applicable. Packaging should be the same as what is found in a retail store, unless the item is handmade or was packaged by the manufacturer in non-retail packaging, such as an unprinted box or plastic bag. See details for additional description. Captivating, absolutely captivating! I couldn't put it down.
Mum grew up in what was then a semi-rural part of the South Hills, about ten miles south of downtown Pittsburgh. She was the youngest of eight, and since my aunt Betty, the only other girl, was not only four years older but blue-eyed and vivacious to the point of silliness, Mum ended up as the family worker bee. This meant that Mum shouldered more than her share of chores and general management tasks, including feeding what animals they had. Now, remember that we are talking the early s in a neighborhood with more than one farm and plenty of open land. These cats, three tabby sisters, were primarily responsible for keeping the barn and the house free of mice, and most of them lived among the hay bales, where mice and other vermin were plentiful and there were plenty of hidey-holes where they could stash their kittens.
Don't try sharpening your pencil in a real cat if you value your life. Or even if you don't come to think of it. Who comes up with these things? OK, do you actually pull up and down on the tail and it meows during? Cause if so, I'm sold! I have a cat-themed joke cartoon book from years and years ago that has exactly this idea. It was called something along the lines of ' uses for a dead cat'.
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